Half of the male population in the world is stuck in the friend zone. Hey! That was a joke, I have no idea what percentage of male folks are stuck in that prison. Here is the thing, quite a number of guys have either been in that ‘prison’ called friend zone or are still stuck in there. Now it’s time to VENT!! Girls can be evil creatures. LOL. They show you all the signs, lead you on, make you feel comfortable around them, call you, post you on their WhatsApp status and refer to you as “bae” or “boo”, hang out with you, you reveal your deepest secrets to them, some even spend the night at your house.
When you finally summon the courage to make the move and shoot that shot- boom! – you’re stuck in that “prison” known as the Friend Zone.
Once stuck, it’s almost impossible to get out. This is never easy for the male folks, especially when you’ve envisioned how great your lives would be together. You are tortured with the constant thoughts of “what if?” You are not alone, comrade.
Most of the guys you see on a daily basis are also stuck or have been stuck. That prison is filled with guys like you who can’t get their crush out of their heads.
While some guys are lucky enough to leave that zone and become intimate with their crush, most remain stuck for life or for as long as the friendship lasts .
Here are the top 20 struggles of guys stuck in the friend zone.
1) The Struggle of listening to your crush talk about her boyfriend.
As if being turned down is not enough torture, you have to go through the struggle of listening to the painful details of how her boyfriend is “so amazing, so sweet, unbelievable in the bedroom…” You smile and nod, pretending to be glad that things are working out. It hurts the more when you’ve been friends with her long before she met this guy. You begin to wonder the qualities or things you lack that this crush-snatcher possesses.
To add salt to injury, she says “I would love for you to meet him. I’m sure you would like him” AHHHH!! Now you have to be friends with a dude that stole your crush from you. OOOUUUCHHH!
2) The struggle of her complaining to you how that she can’t find a good guy.
She comes to you to complain about her boyfriend and she asks you “where are all the good guys sef?” You almost want to yell your intestines out saying “I’M RIGHT HERE. ARE YOU BLIND?” while shaking the hell out of her maybe the scale on her eyes will fall.
Another stinger is the classic phrase, “Why can’t I find someone like you?”
Uhmm, dear, you don’t need to find someone like me. I’m right here for you! You begin to wonder if she’s alright. Like, how can she ignore you for the bad guys?
Don’t be bothered, comrade; girls have an uncontrollable urge to go after the bad boy, thinking they can change him.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you being a nice guy, some girls just need to make life complicated for themselves.
QUICK TIP: try to be bad, but find a balance. Wink
3) The struggle of some people assuming you are impotent.
As soon as your friends are aware you are hanging out with a lady you aren’t having sex with, they begin to wonder if you are impotent. Some might even wonder you are gay. That you spend time together, hang out a lot, and aren’t having sex together seems unbelievable to your friends especially when they are having sex on a weekly basis.
To be honest, you are not doing anything wrong by sticking around someone you genuinely care about. Just ignore the jibes.
4) The struggle of trying to hide that awkward erection.
That little man in between a guy’s leg has a mind of its own. It can decide to stand at attention, anytime!
You are sometimes filled with thoughts of all the nasty things you would love to do with her. Now there’s a problem, the little man is reacting to those thoughts and you are terrified of her catching you and knowing you are thinking about her in that manner because you two are just “friends”. DAMN!
All guys have however learnt the art of keeping that little man from disgracing them.
5) The struggle of hearing her say “You are like a brother to me”
Ok… You have tried the first time, she turned you down. Now you have decided to shoot a second time, since you’ve planted a seed in her by shooting the first time, and hoping the seed has begun to grow.
She then say “you are like a brother to me”
“Who’s your bro?” in bobrisky’s voice
Or someone makes a remark about how you two look perfect together and she responds with “nah…. we can’t date, he’s like a brother to me”.
This stings every time you hear it and also rules out the chance that she’s into you.
Now you feel incredibly awkward about all the thoughts in your head on things you are doing with your supposed ‘sister’.
6) The struggle of her trying to hook you up with her friend(s).
Since she thinks you are like her brother, a single lonely brother, she wants to link you up with any of her cute friends. A tiny part of you wants to take a shot with her friend, maybe that would take your mind off her or make her jealous a little and then give you a chance.
But because you are in that “prison”, you can’t bring yourself to do it. Chai!.
7) The struggle of seeing her naked.
OK, so this sounds a bit extreme, right? Your crush might be so around you that she doesn’t mind changing and getting dressed in your presence. This is the height of all torture. Worse than being locked up in a real prison cos you are privileged to catch a glimpse of her body thereby planting ideas in your head.
Now, God help you she is fresh, you can’t help but imagine the manner of delight you will get if you two were dating.
8) The struggle of her crying on your shoulders.
Dealing with a crying lady is a nightmare, dealing with a crying crush is HELL. You can’t comfort her the way you would love to. You can’t hug her tight, wipe her tears, tell her how much you love her. It’s even worse if she’s crying because of another guy.
You have to hide your happiness that things didn’t work out between them and maybe she would finally come to you but you are also upset because you hate to see her cry.
9) The struggle of doing everything she wants.
You are always forming “tough guy.. tough guy”, saying you can’t take sh*t from anyone. Now you’ve fallen heads over heels for her and now you are acting like a lost puppy.
”Let’s go shopping,” you will follow. “Let’s watch telemundo”, you will watch. “Let’s go to the saloon”, you follow. “can you drop me at my boyfriend’s place?”, you drive her there. It doesn’t matter how weird her request is, you just want to make her happy, hoping to set some “good guy” vibes.
10) The struggle of her liking your friend.
Seeing her flirt with your friends is a hard pill to swallow, asking you to help her talk to one of your friends is like forcing a dose of poison down your throat. Now you feel a bit of hatred towards your buddy for being the “kinda guy she wants”, even though you know it’s not his fault and you’re faced with a moral dilemma: either you tell her your friend is a terrible person and sleeps around with different girls hoping to put her off, or you be a good friend and help her out with the small consolation that it’ll make her happy.
11) The struggle of watching every word you say
Because of your affection for her, you are careful of whatever you say when you are around her. So you choose your words carefully in other not to offend her by saying the wrong things.
12) The struggle of learning about girl stuff even though they might be boring to you.
There are some girly stuff that guys just find boring. But because she’s your crush, you find yourself learning stuff that you’ve ignored all these years.
And because she’s very comfortable around you and likes you alot, she would share some deep girly stuff and secrets with you that she may never share with her boyfriend. This may make you feel good, at least she shares stuff with you, but that feeling is temporal because you can only know about her and can’t have her.
13) She doesn’t believe you are good enough for her.
You know everything about her, you have helped her out of difficult situations several times, but she just doesn’t think you are good enough to be her man.
14) The struggle of always thinking about her.
There’s a lot going on in your life already; work, school, family, life, career, anything that demands your time and attention. No matter how much you try to distract yourself with all these activities, you always find yourself thinking about her. Where is she right now? Is she with a guy? Is she ok? Is she at home? Maybe I should call her now, I will call her after work. You hate that you are doing this but you just can’t help it!
15) The struggle of losing her friendship.
Every day you tell yourself you would make your intentions known again, but you are scared she would reject you again. And if you persist, it might affect your friendship with her. So you back off each time and postpone it till “tomorrow” but “tomorrow” never ends. You would rather remain stuck in the friend zone than lose her.
16) You know she knows.
This part is for those who are yet to make their intentions known. Girls are very intuitive and they know when a guy really likes them. She pretends she doesn’t know you are crushing on her and brushes you off whenever you pass a cute remark about her or does something for her. She enjoys the attention and she’s wondering how much longer you would stay quiet before making your intentions known.
17) The struggle of dealing with everyone that knows you are in love with her.
It’s very squashing when everyone around you, friends and family, knows how you desperately love this babe.
They even subtly hint and occasionally joke about it when she’s around.
It’s even more depressing to know that everyone is aware of your failed attempts to get this babe to want you.
18) The struggle of seeming like a stalker.
Because you care so much about her, you constantly want to check up on her, send her messages, and call her. But constantly sending her messages and checking up on her makes you feel like a jobless psycho. You are upset because you have no idea what she’s up to but you must discipline yourself to set boundaries so you don’t freak her out.
19) The struggle of overthinking everything.
When I say everything, I mean everything. Everything she says, the way she says it, even the amount of time it takes her to reply your DMs. Is she intentionally ignoring me? How come she’s online and not reading my messages?
Did she mean to touch my hand? She meant it when she called me babe? How come she’s smiling at me like that?
You are going insane and treating everything she says or does like a cryptic riddle, especially when it’s more than likely she was just being herself.
20) You finally lose all hopes and faith in romance.
Falling for this babe has brought you nothing but trouble. This whole romance thing is starting to sound like a fairy tale and a serious pain in the ass and you don’t want that. You promise yourself that if you finally forget about this crush, you will never find yourself in this situation again. You are moving on with your life and want none of this agony.