#BusDiaries

Many are mad, few are roaming

Many are mad, few are roaming.
Whoever came up with this statement is a genius because really, that is the case of Lagosians. A lot of us are mad but just a few are roaming on the streets. Allow me to narrate what I witnessed first hand sometime at Jakande Road, Ikeja.

I interned at Radio Lagos 107.5Fm situated at Lateef Jakande Road, Ikeja. I usually close later than 4:00 pm but on that particular day, I left the station around 1 pm. I’d normally trek from the station to Ikeja underbridge, just because.

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But you see, the sun was scorching hot that afternoon, so I decided against trekking. I entered the next available bus, sat beside the window, and did my ritual; observe other passengers then plug in headphones and listen to music in whatever volume I deem suitable.

There was heavy traffic on the road and the bus would be on standstill for about 3 minutes only to move like a snail and then stop again. I would have hated being stuck in that bus if not for the hot sun, because as dark as I had gotten, I didn’t want to get anymore darker so I just swallowed a chill pill and drank plenty of water.

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Few moments after, I heard a man on the bus, sitting next to the driver, having a phone conversation and he lied that he was at Obalende or someplace I can’t exactly remember at this point. I shock, but you know, ‘mind ya biznez’

I continued listening to my music. Boom! Again, he had another call and several other calls and he just kept telling lies about his 411. At this point, he had caught everyone’s attention and some advised him to come down as the traffic wouldn’t be eased anytime soon, he said he’d come down when he sees a bike and then there was decorum.

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More moments after, there was a bit of noise in the bus, this time, the driver was involved. The man making and receiving calls had seen and called a motorcyclist so he wanted to alight the bus and be on his way to the meeting he was already minutes late for.

We were close to a traffic light on the road, where LASTMA officials are never found wanting. The driver started shouting at the man not to open the door because if he did, the men in uniform will arraign his vehicle and he’d have to pay ₦50,000 fine or so, other passengers were explaining and supporting the driver too but this man refused to listen, he attempted to open the door and jump on the bike.

Alas! The door cannot be opened by anyone else except the driver because only he knows exactly how to operate the door. I was laughing at this point as the begging was now in reverse; the man started to beg the driver to please help him open the door and let him go, some other passengers too helped him beg.

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Baba (the driver) just turned on the radio, tuned in to his favorite station which luckily was playing a song he liked and he began singing along, very loudly too!

It was hilarious, for the lack of a better word, and I really don’t blame the driver, the said man was proving to be stubborn and difficult to deal with, turning deaf ears to the poor driver’s explanation.

You’d think that after the traffic light and at the nearest bus stop the driver would stop and help the said man open the door, he didn’t! Unfortunately too, nobody was alighting at any of the bus stops before the final bus stop. The driver said to the man, “you think sey you dey wicked abi? I go show you sey na me wicked pass, oya come down na, Shebi you Wan fly before. Go down. Go down make I see you.”

Indeed, it was really his time to shine and he did so in all the fullness of his glory, he didn’t open the door until we got to Ikeja underbridge and he had parked properly.

His madness na grade 1

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