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Family Or Career? Nigerians Pick One

Family or Career?

This is usually a conflicting conversation whenever we have it. In my opinion, both can be combined and managed well together. YES, I said what I said! But looking deeper, there are some situations where it just has to be one; the narrative here is family-oriented vs. career driven.

In the course of the week, I took a poll on my whatsapp status, asking, my contacs to choose between their family or their career.

They had to choose one and explain why. Some got it instantly and made their choices while others couldn’t exactly decide, so I gave an instance.

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You have a great career in blogging/vlogging and have a family too.
Your career then demands you travel around the world which means you can’t always be with your family but they need you and would prefer you don’t travel at all.
Do you choose your family, stay with them and leave your job or your career, and travel around the world neglecting your family?

I got pretty interesting responses and I handpicked a few.

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Ayodele, Female.

“I’ll pick my career as long as it doesn’t mean I never get to spend time with them at all. If I abandon a career I love and I’ve worked hard for because of my family, it’ll build resentment towards them.
Your career can’t ever take you away from the family you love forever.

But being with your family all the time will ruin career opportunities for you because there’ll always be something that’ll come up and prevent you from pursuing that/those opportunity(ies).”

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Aramide, Female.

“I really love my family and I’m attached to them. I feel like when I start working I’ll be working for them.

I mean I have a list of things planned out in my head that I’ll do for my family if I start making money and this is just my default family.

Now when I have my other family (family by marriage). Hmmm, I know I’d love them a thousand times more, and to think that quality time is my love language, I’ll choose my family. I’ll work really hard to get a better job in an environment where I don’t have to stay away from my family for too long.”

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Oluwole, Male.

“I’m all about family, why? My father taught me how not to act with family. He chose career and I’ve seen the effect, it’s what I’ll never do. No money will ever substitute for real love.”

Tolulope, Male.

“This is an interesting topic, what’s the use of having all the success in the world with nobody to share it with?
What is the use of having a family when you have nothing to offer, but suffering and hoping for a better tomorrow?

Personally, I will stick with my career. Why? Because of the finance. Certain compromise must be reached, a loving family is great, so is a promising career, but there will always be a way to balance things, you can’t just chase money and forget about the important experiences in life. In this instance, I’d choose my career and travel, we’ll work something out.”

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Rushidah, Female.

“Travelling around the world doesn’t equal to neglecting my family. I could travel around the world and still have that deep connection with my kids, but husband’s cheating is inevitable. Cos men ehnn… Still, still I will choose career just for me to make the dough, then stop afterwards.”

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Daniel, Male.

“So I’m a career dude but family is first. Basically, family is everything.

For example, A marine would most likely spend less time with his family because of his job and that can make the relationship with that parent shaky.

Growing up (I was like 4) my dad usually left the house before I got ready for school and got back after I had slept but then he stayed to play with us (my elder brother and I) one day and it must have had its effects at work cos he did it for like 3 days.

Well, IMO, it’s gonna be family first yo.
Family before all career or at least family first to a certain degree before I go full work mode. And then the nature of my future job won’t really require me to “step out” of my home.”

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Amara, Female.

“First of all, I don’t think it’s impossible to keep up with your family while blogging.

Well with the kind of family I have, I’ll pick my career. Not because they aren’t important to me or I don’t love them but it’s the love I have for them that’ll push me to building my career.

All I have to do is design my schedule in a way that I’ll have time for them and can also communicate every other time, it’ll probably seem like I wasn’t even gone at all.

We’re all about building ourselves and growing, and our growth affects the rest of our family positively. Now my immediate family would understand this concept.”

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Samuel, Male.

“I’ll definitely pick family, now I don’t understand if you mean family like my own gangan like a father and kid or my Parents and siblings.

But whichever one I’ll pick Family. Career comes with its compromise but at some time you have to choose which matters most. In a situation where I have to choose I’ll choose family, even if you can joggle both well, family comes first. I’m not really an ambitious person as well.”

 

As some people as naturally adamant and would think ‘outside the box’, I had responses that didn’t choose any one of the options exactly.
Like Fawole Peters who claims he’d choose his peace of mind over anything else.

“When I say peace of mind, it could be any of the two. It depends on the situation honestly, I’ve had to choose between both severally and there are times I’ve chosen Family, other times I chose Career. So basically, it’s my peace of mind that really matters, anything I choose has to be what will make me happy with myself. I please me first, then maybe others as well.”

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And I have an anonymous person who says she chooses what is right.

‘Let’s not include sentiment in this issue. Doing my job is only right since that was what I signed up for, catering to my family is also only right because I decided to have a family. Given your instance, there are a couple of factors that play a role in whatever decision I make. But I must make the right decision for both parties inclusive.’

Join the conversation, which would you rather choose over the other if you really have to choose.

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