Help! Our remote control is in trouble
A friend of mine visited me at home 2 weeks ago for the first time. Isi and I know each other from way back but work never allows us to visit each other, she travels around the country and I travel around Lagos in traffic.
The moment we realized that the Easter holiday was from Friday till Monday, we decided to resurrect the visiting plan. Isi agreed to visit first.
She came and I was very happy, we talked, we laughed…
We were in my room, my safe haven, my escape room, because we had visitors, we needed time to gist and say silly stuff to each other and we did.
Finally, we had the parlor to ourselves and the first thing Isi noticed was the 3 remotes on top of our old box television, one for TV, one for GOtv decoder and the last for DVD.
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Isi looked at me and I asked her why. Her facial expression was priceless!
“Wendy, why does all the remote in your house have plasters ?”
But no jokes, they have plasters. Then I began to tell her how much of a survivor the remotes have been. I told her that sellotapes couldn’t hold them together again so my dad suggested plaster and we all agreed!
Isi asked how they got to the plaster stage. “This is the story of their life” I began
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“Naturally babe, you should know that we are wrestlers in our house, from father to mother to children and grandchildren, I’m sure my children will be wrestlers”
“Do you guys fight with the remote Isi asked”
See ehn, it’s just a follow come something. I remember I slammed the remote on the floor one day during undertaker and Triple H’s match at WWE crown jewel last year, and the power button fell off so I had to sellotape it.
Is it Johnson? His favorite wrestler is AJ styles and can do anything if he doesn’t win. Is it Jason? Forgerrit! The remote is his weapon when fighting with Johnson.
Isi asked why we leave it for them to use, I told her they climb to take it, so it’s actually nobody’s fault that they can access it.
Isi is as crazy as I am, so hyper so she laughed really hard.
After a few minutes of holding the remote, she really loved it, I could tell. The plaster feel was just so amazing for her, she laughed while changing the station and she didn’t want to let go.
I know my dad, he will never agree to change it except we do. The guy is tired of changing things. He gave up the day my sister and I broke our bed when we were much younger, he just dropped the very healthy foam on the floor for us. Before then, we joined hands to destroy all four dining chairs leaving only the table as the survivor.
Now it’s not just about wrestling, we play a lot when we want to.
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He will just tell you that when you are ready to change it, change it. It’s not like we do these things intentionally but I really don’t have the vocab for it.
“The remotes are a reminder that things survive Isi”
I love the remotes with passion and will miss them the day we decide to change them.
The TV remote has suffered the most, I remember it’s original colour was white, but due to stitches, off brown now. That remote has been slapped, hit, disrespected, and abused. The others are black but gradually turning grey due to weak immune system.
Isi and I had a wonderful time together, not just about the remotes (although they played the bigger role) but because we really missed each other.
At about 6pm, Isi was ready to leave. Felt bad but she was going to travel to Kano the next day. While she packed her bags in the parlor, she asked: “Wendy when will you visit?”
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“Christmas o my dear”
She took the TV remote and threw it at me
Why didn’t she use another one!
I picked up the injured patient and she asked me
“do you have plaster?”
I laughed hard and shook my head. I went into my dad’s room, got plaster, and put it together again.
By: Chinwendu Joseph