Story-Story

LOL. Oloso Jam Mad Man

“If your mama born you well, wait for me nah whether I no go use blow scatter that your wor-wor face.”

That was Him yelling at the top of his voice, with a locked fist advancing angrily to catch up with her pace, scurrying down the stairs after a corpulent bleached lady,

“weyrey! My face worwor na him you lock me up inside your house for 3 days dey knack me. Idiot like you. No be say you even sabi do the thing sef. You never see anything. By the time I finish with you, that small money wey dey high you like 10 wraps of igbo go leave you vamoose”

READ OH DEATH! FREEDOM AT LAST.

Hinges of doors began to swing open one after the other as neighbors peeped from their apartments eagerly to really comprehend the actual cause of the loud outburst that early morning. None could step out to interfere, rather stared in utmost bewilderment and disbelief. No one would have deciphered that their very jovial neighbor, Godwin had a lady locked up in his apartment.

He was always seen leaving for work very early in the morning with his door heavily padlocked and returning back home very late at night. No one bothered to imagine how she was able to survive 3 days in such horror, rather were carried away with the ongoing drama.

READ THE DAY SHE DIED

“Me abi? U still dey run your mouth abi?” He continued still trying to catch up with her, but she was quick to run out to the street screaming…

“Kidnapper, Oloshi, Omo baba werey!”

“Bro, wetin happen” another concerned lady stopped by to query.

“The foolish girl don chop my food for the month finish. I tell am make she come dey go she no gree. She wan come turn house wife, see me see wahala oh!”

“Housewife ko, housewife niii!” The aggrieved lady retorted “na craze dey worry you. U lock me up like prisoner for inside your house so that I no go fit step out make your neighbors for no see me. U no gree me commot or do anything, na only to dey open for you to dey knack. With all the mouth wey you make full everywhere say u sabi knack, ashey na toothpick or cigarette stick you carry for yonder. 5 minutes indomie na him you be, small thing u go begin talk say ‘I don taya’. Why I no go finish your food? No be food be the only thing wey dey keep me company? God save you today, na your Blokos I for chop next. Bastard.”

READ LAGOS, THE HUSTLE IS REAL

Matter wey dem no want make neighbors hear, na neighbors go settle am Las Las. Hahahahahaha…My eyes have seen my ears in this Lagos.

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