I deserve an award and so do you, if you’re Nigerian and you do live in Nigeria because the fact is being a Nigerian is an extreme sport.
But no, Guinness Book of record people won’t acknowledge it let alone give us our due awards.
Although we are cool spirited and amazing people, we can’t deny that we are equally as annoying.
Here are the top 10 annoying habits Nigerians have that we are most definitely guilty of.
It is pertinent to note at this point that I’m not Nigerian. I’m an Arabian Irish prince that lives in Frankfurt, Germany *inserts multiple accents*
“My name is Dr. Aviv Del Cortaz, heir to the Irish dynasty of the Mac Caionoith clan in Dublin, Ireland. Biko, argue with your ancestors.”
Speaking of arguing, it should be noted across the seven seas and all of Westeros that Nigerians love
1) ARGUING WITHOUT FACTS
Nigerians believe that the loudest person wins the argument so they tend to effortlessly turn a normal conversation or discussion into a screaming fest.
Despite all their roaring and barking, when it becomes clear that they are loosing the argument due to lack of facts,
Again, I’m not Nigerian. Not today.
This list would be grossly inaccurate without good ole
2) POKE NOSING
For the Bi-racial ones like myself and the bougie IJGB’s (I-JUST-GOT-BACK) let me educate you.
Poke nosing is simply the annoying habit of sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, mostly in other people’s business!
In fact, Nigerians basically invented it. It’s baffling really.
If you look away when you see Sade flirting with a guy that’s not her boyfriend, or Daddy Bolaji who has been unemployed for seven months buy a brand new car, will you die?
Dear Nigerians, I know it’s hard but try to stay out of people’s business for your own sake.
Whilst I believe this is a necessary survival skill, I still think y’all Nigerians take it too far. And please, stop giving me side eye. Don’t let my knowledge fool you, I’m very foreign.
Nigerians have a superpower for
But beware, some Nigerians are crazy hence they don’t even recognize when they are setting themselves up to fail.
To survive in Nigeria, you have to hone this skill to its fullest because if you form JJC, it’s very easy for you to be ripped off. One thing you don’t want to do though is try this skill out with an Eleran (Butcher) especially if his knives are very sharp and he’s got no joy.
Another hilarious and crazy one is
4) SHOUTING/BEING DRAMATIC WHEN MAKING OR RECEIVING CALLS
Dear Nigerians, it’s a phone call and not an audio autobiography.
You can learn about a Nigerian’s entire life just by listening to their phone calls. That is how you will learn that Adisa was adopted and his real mother is that wicked Aunty Asibi that he likes to insult, or that Caroline the slay queen only has one cup of garri left in her house for the month.
These insightful conversations usually happen in public settings.
Best of all is when a Nigerian is having a phone fight via a call. Epic!
Someone needs to explain to Nigerians what boundaries are because of their skill for…
5) DISRESPECTING BOUNDARIES
Nigerians by nature don’t believe or acknowledge personal space and boundaries.
It’s even more painful when it’s your parents doing this. Talk about “What are you doing in this room that you’re locking door every minute? You better leave that door open. If you want to be locking door, go and do that in your own house. Nonsense and ingredients.”
Henceforth I feel anyone guilty of this offense should be locked up for life.
6) INSENSITIVE COMMENTS ABOUT YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE
should be a criminal offense, on God!
“You’ve put on…”
“You’re becoming fat o…”
“See as you swell yakata…”
If you’re guilty of this offense, then you’re very stupid. *In Falz’s voice”
How exactly do you know that ‘fat’ is not hungrying these people?
What makes you so smart that you chose to be foolish and make condescending comments about their body, their own body o, as if say dem no get eyes.
*Inhala…exhalla* Y’all be bringing out the ghetto in me.
7) HATE BEING CORRECTED.
Let’s not forget that Nigerians also love to correct people but hate being corrected. Begs the question, what makes your ideologies better than others?
This is a viral disease amongst Nigerians, especially Lagosians, In traffic, at the bank, virtually everywhere. If you find a patient Nigerian, that’s a rare breed. Marry that person!
We’re almost done folks.
9) JUDGE & JURY
Nigerians with their 1982 shoulder pads would climb their high horses and become assistant Mary’s and Jesus’s overnight.
They love to play judge and jury to everyone but themselves. Can you smell the hypocrisy? It needs more maggi seasoning, some pepper too.
Last but not the least, can someone say ‘mad o!’?
Drumroll please, Nigerians
10) PRETEND TO HATE SEX BUT PORNHUB IS THEIR BACKYARD
Just check the stats, Nigerians are one of Pornhub’s top customers worldwide. At this point, we should all be ambassadors. Sorry, y’all should be ambassadors. *Adjusts Irish citizenship*
Let’s call a spade a spade and admit we’re all hot-blooded freaky ass folks and attain inner peace.
No need to feign hate or disinterest for sex, we are human after all.
On the side, there has been a recent rise in those who monetize their love for sex and freaky shit via Onlyfans accounts.
Blame the economy, blame the lockdown, but henceforth whatever you do, don’t ever pretend to stan the ‘I HATE SEX, EMI NI HOLY ANGEL’ gang or I will call Pornhub myself, get all your IP’s and cast you, right down to the…not here…make I no threaten una here, sha just warn yourselves.
That’s all folks. Got any other annoying habits Nigerians are guilty of? Let me know in the comment section below. Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe.
It’s the least you people can do after making me lose my hard-earned multiple accents and citizenship while writing this. The Nigerian in me kept jumping out.
Later folks. Be good, and stay blessed.
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